weekendmom:

“dad where did u get that mug”

“my worlds greatest dad mug? long story”

*dad looks out the window as he vividly remembers his bloody victory in the 100 dad cage match at dadfights.com*

batreaux:

You bump into a man on the subway wearing a trenchcoat. You apologize and he responds “Its alright. We’re only human. All of us. All of us here are human. Yep. Very human. I’m probably the most human here! You betcha.” and then the trenchcoat falls and the figure collapses and roughly 1000 salamanders scatter around the train 

officialunitedstates:

introverts:  sit quietly in corner reading good book and drinking tea

extroverts:  throw water balloons at old man, sing too loudly, eat all the jello

alivechihiro:

chumpersonable:

wulfriciceberg:

if I had to pick two internet personalities to have as parents I would pick dril and critikal

attending a parent-teacher conference for my bullshit son, I hopp up on her desk whenever she tries to speak. i will not be held accountable for the failings of my dickspawn

remember to rate the child, comment the child, and subscribe if you want to see more children like this one. see ya

kill-whitepeople:

the moon is shit and I hate it. if you like that dumbass tiny ball in the sky fuck you

toastdurr:

vagisodium:

i bet my tongue is stronger than yours wanna find out

hELL YES

image

ipissedinyourmountaindew:

April 15th, 2014. Total Lunar Feelclipse

ipissedinyourmountaindew:

April 15th, 2014. Total Lunar Feelclipse

woodmeat:

pussylipgloss:

babies are so cute and dumb aww they have only like 3 skills its adorable 

talking, breathing, archery (lv26)

gamzee-makara:

Never forget.

gamzee-makara:

Never forget.

Goat Simulator - Do it. Kill him.
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radfeline:

*yoshi voice* yoshi